


It Will Be Worth It

by yokomya



Category: Girl Meets World
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Love Confessions, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-31
Updated: 2016-07-31
Packaged: 2018-07-28 09:16:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7634638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yokomya/pseuds/yokomya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Riles?”</p><p>“Yes, peaches?” Riley hums back, voice honeyed from drowsiness. Maya turns over, willing herself not to go stiff. Willing herself not to be a coward. She wants to be upfront. She wants to be honest. She wants to stop lying.</p><p>“I don’t love Lucas.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Will Be Worth It

On Sunday mornings, Maya’s favorite thing to do is sneak into Riley’s room. She never fails to set an alarm so she can get up early and throw a coat on because the low temperatures of New York are unforgiving. It sucks actually, the journey to Riley’s apartment. But it’s not so bad.

It will always be worth it.

Each morning, Maya is starving by the time she reaches the window of her best friend's house. It doesn't matter. She eats here half the time anyways.

The window is always unlocked so she slips in, unannounced, and shuts it softly behind her. Her knees sink into the cushions of the bay window seat as her body is warmly greeted by the heat of the house. Her eyes scan over the dimly lit room, landing in the middle where there’s a lump in the bed.

Riley is never awake, even after all these years of knowing Maya will come. She’s always sound asleep.

Maybe it’s weird and probably creepy - but Maya can't help but watch her sleep every morning. She tells herself she won't each time but - here she is. When they go to school together, it’s different. Riley is awake then. But on Sundays, Maya takes this time to just - drink in that peaceful expression.

She wonders, what really goes through Riley’s head sometimes when her face is that serene. As if there's nothing that can rattle her. Even when she's awake and fully functioning, half of her expressions are composed of that calmness. It says  _today will be beautiful because the world is beautiful._

There are times Maya thinks it might be a front. A defense mechanism to hide her fears. But, she knows Riley. And Riley _is_ honestly faithful in the world around her. And that blind faith is what draws Maya in. 

After all, she's always had faith in Maya, and that’s why she -

Riley stirs beneath the covers, stretching an arm over the pillow. There’s a slight smile on her face. The dream must be nice. That’s what she deserves. Good dreams. Happiness. And so much more.

Maya finds herself staring far too long so her gaze falters down. To the ring encircling her own finger. She does this too. If she’s not careful, she spends countless minutes staring at this piece of metal.

Whether she’s in class or at home or going to bed - _yes, she wears it to bed_ \- her gaze inevitably ends up fixated on the thing. Probably because it means so much. A lot more than she wants to admit. More than she will _ever_ admit.

“Earth to Maya.”

Her eyes flicker away from the precious ring and her heart flutters because Riley is awake. The mop of silky brown hair is poking out more, completely out of the covers now.

“You were zoned out,” she smiles sweetly. Maya will never let those smiles die. She tilts her head to the side, eyebrows raising.

“Well, you were dead to the world so there was no one to entertain me.”

“Sorry,” Riley laughs. “You should’ve woken me up.”

“Nah. You were especially dead this time.”

Riley cheekily rolls her eyes - it’s too cute because nothing she does is spiteful - and pats the space by her side.

The morning sun grows brighter and Maya is suddenly too warm so she slips off her coat, dragging herself across the room to the bed. Typically, she would playfully leap on it or wrestle or do anything to stop this wild beating in her chest, but she can’t bring herself to joke around today. She crawls over Riley, careful not to touch her, and lays on her back over the covers, eyes on the ceiling. The sound of a car outside breaks the silence and then it’s gone.

“You okay?” Riley asks quietly, turning on her side, tucking a hand beneath the pillow. “What’s wrong, Maya?”

“Huh? Nothing,” Maya snorts, annoyed that her own defense mechanisms are malfunctioning today. She fakes a yawn. “A bit tired. And hungry.”

“Aw,” Riley smiles again. It doesn’t help with the _heart trying to race a hundred miles a minute_ problem. “Wanna get breakfast?”

“No,” Maya answers, too quickly. Crap. She blinks and peaks at Riley from the corner of her vision. “And face another Mr. Mathews lecture?”

“Hey, we only burned those pancakes once. He was overreacting."

Riley shifts to get more comfortable. In reality, she probably doesn’t want another lecture either. But she does her best to make Maya feel better regardless. Maya crosses her hands over her stomach, guilt setting in. 

“If you want, we can go burn some more. He’s never actually mad anyways.”

“Mkay, sounds good, in a sec.”

Maya glances over instinctively, finding that Riley had shut her eyes once more. She wiggles closer to Maya and it’s hard to tell if it’s on purpose or not. That kills her. Not knowing.

But then there are so many things that Riley doesn’t know. Maya is no better, being the one keeping secrets, never opening up when it counts. It’s not okay. She knows that. She also knows that Riley is strong, so much stronger than her. Because Riley is herself. Because Maya may act tough and she may be protective and loyal, but does any of that matter if she can't be honest?

The warmth of the room has spread over her limbs now. The sun glitters in her eyes.

“Riles?”

“Yes, peaches?” Riley hums back, voice honeyed from drowsiness. Maya turns over, willing herself not to go stiff. Willing herself not to be a coward. She wants to be upfront. She wants to be honest. She wants to stop lying.

“I don’t love Lucas.”

The words settle over the air and Riley’s eyes open, curious and confused. Her lips part and her brows scrunch.

“But you said - “

“I know what I said.”

There’s been tension between them before and they’ve had fights - but certainly nothing they can’t fix. That’s something that will never change. No matter the circumstance, no matter the reason, they will work it out. So, maybe, even this time, things will smooth over. That's the only thing that keeps her going.

“I shouldn’t have lied to you,” Maya starts, voice fading near the end. She clears her throat because _no_ \- she _will_ do this. She has to. “Because you actually have feelings for him and I was selfish.”

Riley appears at a loss, just waiting for more of an explanation than that. The pulse in Maya’s wrist rises. She breathes in through her nose, letting it out slowly. Her hand is shaky.

“I didn’t - I didn’t want to lose you so I faked liking him.”

The time on the alarm clock shows it’s only been a few minutes since she slipped in through the window. It’s felt like a century. Maya knows she has to finish telling her. She can't leave it like that. It’s not fair.

She’s about to speak but Riley acts first. Her tiny hand lifts from under the sheet and reaches out, gliding delicately over Maya’s cheek.

“Maya,” she says softly, sitting up, “Maya. . .”

And there’s pain in Riley’s eyes but she won’t say it. She won’t let Maya know that she’s been hurt. A shiver goes down Maya’s spine and her eyes burn because she _hurt_ Riley. All her life, she has vowed to protect this girl at all costs, to drag down any danger, to keep her safe - and here she is, eyes brimming with tears because Maya _hurt_ her.

“I’m so sorry, Riley,” Maya whispers, eyelids falling, but Riley is still gently tracing a thumb over her face.

 

_No. Don’t show me kindness. Not when I haven't even told you the worst part._

 

“It’s okay,” Riley promises, nodding, “It’s okay, you were just protecting me. Like you always do.”

“No, I wasn’t,” Maya retorts, taking Riley’s hand in her own so she can remove it from her face, “Riley, I _lied_ to you. I pretended to like him because I didn’t want _you_ to like him.”

“But, you - “ Riley looks back and forth between Maya’s eyes, mouth gaping and shutting to find the right words, “But why - What do you mean?”

This is the part.

In her dreams, this is the part that darkens and becomes a nightmare. This is always the part where she wakes up lonely because Riley doesn’t want her anymore.

And she _can’t_ go through that. Not in real life.

This was a mistake.

Maya eases out of Riley’s touch and is on her back again to catch her breath. She doesn’t want to fall to pieces. Not here. Riley will just pick them up like always. And she isn’t supposed to. Not like this.

“Tell me, Maya,” Riley protests, getting out of the covers now, “What aren’t you saying?”

“Forget about it, okay? Seriously, forget what I said.”

“You know I can’t do that.”

“Well, I need you to. Let’s just go eat, okay?”

“Maya - “

Sitting up, Maya is about to get off the bed but Riley clasps her wrist, holding her in place. She’s not the aggressive type but she must sense the importance. If need be, her stubbornness will flare up. Maya looks back. The pool of her stomach drops.

“Let go.”

“Not until you talk to me.”

“I can’t. I thought I could but I _can’t_ , okay? Why don’t you get that?”

“Because we’re best friends and we’re supposed to talk about _everything_.”

Maya doesn’t bother struggling. She can’t when it comes to Riley. Instead, her eyes travel to Riley’s ring.

“You know, I wear my ring here,” Maya murmurs, raising the arm Riley doesn’t have a hold of. Riley looks at the sparkling silver, trying to discern what she means. The sun rises and the clock turns.

“I don’t get it, Maya. I’m wearing mine too.”

“I wear it on my ring finger, on my left hand,” Maya discloses, the familiar dread creeping in. It’s probably the stupidest way she could have confessed. And the most round about. More silence passes. She waits for Riley to catch on. It doesn’t take long. And weirdly, Riley flushes, downcasting her gaze, wordless.

This is why she shouldn’t have said anything.

“I’m sorry,” Maya tries, shoulders going limp. “I didn’t mean to feel this way about you.”

There. It’s out. She said it. God, she finally said it.

More or less.

Eating breakfast with the Mathews this morning was going to be awkward.

“So,” Riley speaks up, unsure of what to do with herself by the looks of it, “So, you, um - I don’t know if I’m right about what that means.”

“You know what it means,” Maya lectures. Inside, she's been debating between jumping back out the window or dying on the spot. At least, somehow, Riley's innocence helps alleviate the pressure in her chest. After a beat, Riley raises her head.

“Fine, so, you wearing your ring there means you - about me then.”

Maya wants to laugh because she thought she was bad with words and emotions but it’s nice to know she’s not alone. It makes her believe this is okay. Telling her was okay. After this conversation and at the end of the day and for the rest of their lives, Riley will be by her side so its okay.

Suddenly, Riley jerks the ring off her own finger and holds out her left hand. There's no hesitation but for Maya, time slows down as she slips it onto the ring finger, mirroring Maya's own. The determination on her features is priceless. Maya stares, stunned.

“Then I,” Riley takes a deep breath and releases it, “About you too.”

She then reaches out and takes Maya’s hand as if that seals the deal or something. They study each other, Riley smiling and Maya in disbelief, because there’s _no way_ that she - this isn’t real.

 

“Maya, I care about Lucas but,” she curls her fingers into the warmth of Maya’s own, “I _really_ care about you.”

 

There are other words, other actions, other ways to show feelings. Thinking about it, they've already done so many of those things. And they have plenty of time to figure out the rest later. This way is fine for now.

It’s all Maya has ever needed to hear.

And there's no  _you and me forever_ even though that's exactly why Maya wears her ring there - but the implication must have been clear. Riley must have understood what it meant when she decided to do the same.  

Maya thinks her heart is breaking and being reborn. Her smile stretches so far that laughter escapes, replacing the built up fears. 

 

“Me too, Riley.”


End file.
